We waited for the storm to subside, then drove back to the city. Lightning forks lit up the sky over the Long Island Expressway to guide our way, so powerful and clearly etched that it looked like Zeus and Thor were having a throwing contest.
A man who helped me rediscover the joys of thunderous sex after my most recent divorce was recently struck by lightning. Because he is a comedian by trade (well-known in his native Canada, less so here), the story as he told it was funny:
I barely made it to my birthday. The day before I was doing some plumbing work at my folks'. I was on my back in the bathroom under the sink with pipe wrench in hand (as usual) when lightning struck the house and electrocuted the sh*t out of me. A huge blue flash came right out of me. My parents were in the living room and freaked because the flash coming off me lit up the kitchen too.I've been zapped before, mostly during my electrical apprenticeship years, so I knew what was happening.I for one am glad he's still on the planet. Tall and fit and smart and adorable and funny and innately sexual in a deeply filthy way, he gave me back a part of my life that had gone missing. When he had to return to Canada for legal reasons that will prevent him from ever returning to this side of the border, I briefly considered following him, but that wasn't the life I was meant to have.
I was just confused as to why, because I was nowhere near any wiring or outlets.A few seconds later I heard the thunder and realized what just happened. I know this sounds like more than a few seconds of time elapsing, but it's amazing how fast your brain processes thoughts.
My knowledge of electricity tells me I should have been killed because the current went across my chest from arm to arm, blasting through my heart. But hey, who's complaining?
My mother shrieked out my name immediately, and both my folks came rushing in. I just got up laughing and and flexed my arms: "I survived a lightning strike!" And I kissed my dad's little head. My mother motherly advised me not to continue working on the pipes - how sweet!
I headed off to a poker game with my buddies and played golf on my birthday.So as far as I can tell the the only superpowers I received from the blast are those of a sixty year old. And no, oddly enough, it wasn't life-altering or revelatory. I think it was just one of my nine lives.
But the fireworks with him really did light up the sky. Loudly.
(Photo from How Stuff Works.)