Friday, May 09, 2008

The Glamourbrain Guide To Fabulousness

I am reasonably good at oracular pronouncements, and for some time I've thought that a list of rules for living smartly and beautifully would be fun to write. In high-concept parlance, it would be like The Bombshell Manual of Style meets How to Talk With Practically Anybody About Practically Anything: real-world advice from a life well lived, plus an amusing exhortation or two. Like this:

Who Not to Sleep With
I have learned that there are three basic rules for ongoing happiness:
  1. Don't sleep with anyone you work with.
  2. Don't sleep with anyone who is married to someone else.
  3. If you are married, don't sleep with anyone you're not married to.
It is not out of the question, though it's inadvisable, to flout one of these rules occasionally. But more than one at a time is a recipe for tragedy (see under: Bovary, Emma).

I live by the Ten Commandments (though I struggle with the one about coveting), so I have never broken Rule #3. But I've learned that breaking the other two is never as good an idea as it may seem at the time. And alas, it so often does.

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